Is it a cold or the flu?

	cold	flu
fever	rare	usual; high (100F to 102F, occasionally higher, especially in young children); lasts 3-4 days
headache	rare	common
fatigue, weakness	sometimes	usual; cam last up to 2-3 weeks
general aches and pains	slight	usual; often severe
exhaustion	never	usual; at the beginning of the illness
stuffy nose	common	sometimes
sneezing	usual	sometimes
sore throat	common	sometimes
chest discomfort, cough	mild to moderate	common; can become severe
treatment	antihistamines, decongestants, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medicines	antiviral medicines- see your doctor
prevention	wash your hands often with soap and water; avoid close contact with anyone with a cold	annual vacciation; antiviral medication- see your doctor

How to Talk to Your Child about Failing: 3 Questions Parents Should Ask

To continue on the topic of letting our children experience failure, here are some great tips from the same article I quoted last week (https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-you-should-let-your-child-fail-the-benefits-of-natural-consequences/)

"How to Talk to Your Child about Failing: 3 Questions Parents Should Ask
Whether dealing with feelings of discomfort or feelings of failure, there are three simple questions parents can ask their child.

1. “What part did you play in this?”
That’s what you want your child to learn, because that’s all he can change. The lesson stems from there. Your child might say, “I don’t know what part I played, Dad.” You can respond by saying, “Well, let’s think about it. Where did you get off track? Where did things go wrong for you?” If your child doesn’t know, you can say, “Well, it seems to me you got off track when you didn’t have your homework ready when your teacher called on you. The part you played was not being prepared. And the solution to that is getting prepared.” Your child may agree with you, or he may try to offer some defense. But any defense that’s offered is not going to be legitimate as long as you’re speaking in the context of “What part did you play?” You just need to point out, “Well, it seems to me like you’re making an excuse for not having your homework done.” Or “Seems to me you’re blaming me for not having your homework done.” Or “It looks to me like you’re blaming your teacher for not having your homework done.”—whatever the case may be.

2. “What are you going to do differently next time?”
So it’s, “What are you going to do differently the next time when you have to do your homework?” Or “What are you going to do differently next time so that if your teacher calls on you, you won’t get embarrassed?” Or “What are you going to do differently next time to pass the test?” This is a big question in this conversation with your child, because it gets him to see other, healthier ways of responding to the problem.

3. “What did you learn from this?”
“What did you learn from being embarrassed when your teacher called on you?” “What did you learn from not passing the test?” Put the responsibility back on your child. If you take his responsibility over, it’s just going to become a power struggle. With all the problems that exist in education today, the last thing you need is to be in a power struggle with your child’s teacher.
Now you may say, “Well you don’t understand, my child’s teacher is different.” I do understand that. There are effective teachers and ineffective teachers. But let me ask you this: when is your child going to learn to deal with ineffective teachers? Where do you think your child is going to learn to deal with injustice? Part of learning—for everyone—involves feeling uncomfortable at times. Part of loving your child responsibly means that you need to let him feel discomfort, and even fail, as long as he’s learning how to be accountable for his actions in the process."

Letting Kids Fail Sometimes

Are you shocked by the title? Do I have your attention?

Sometimes we need to let kids fail. How else will they learn skills to handle adversity? We are supposed to experience problems as we go through life and hopefully get better and better at dealing with them. Kids need practice solving the smaller stuff so they have confidence to solve the bigger stuff later.

Attached is a link to an article about this subject. I encourage you to read it if you have time. https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-you-should-let-your-child-fail-the-benefits-of-natural-consequences/

Don't have time for the full article? Here are some of the main points:

• Parents worry that if a kid fails at something school related, they'll have problems catching up later. Parents often fail to realize that the failure is also a growth opportunity for their child, so s/he can learn skills to better plan their future.
• "It’s often stated that the Chinese symbol for “crisis” is a combination of the symbols for “danger” and “opportunity.” I think that parents see the danger part very clearly in a crisis, but often they don’t see the opportunity: your child has the opportunity to learn an important lesson."
• Do you think asking teachers to change your student's grade is a good idea? No, what your child is going to learn is that they don’t have to take responsibility for their ineffective behavior—that somebody else is going to fight for them.
• Your child got an F?  "It’s his/her responsibility to experience the natural consequences of his/her actions. And the biggest consequence is that your child has failed. To me, this is not the end of the world, it’s a lesson, just like anything else designed to help him/her see that s/he’s not making the grade. Receiving a failing grade is a gauge of how s/he’s doing, and if s/he’s failed something, s/he needs to solve the problem responsibly."
• "Failure is an opportunity to get your child to look at himself. Part of parents’ sensitivity to this is that if their child fails, they feel like they’ve failed, too. You want to say, “What more can I do?” But the question really is, “What more can my child do?” It’s not “What am I not doing as a parent?” It’s “What is he not doing as a student?” That’s the right question to ask yourself."
• "Somehow in our culture, protecting your child from discomfort—and the pain of disappointment—has become associated with effective parenting.  Personally, I think that’s a dangerous trap parents fall into. While I don’t think situations should be sought out where a child is uncomfortable, I do think if that child is uncomfortable because of some natural situation or consequence, you should not interfere."
• "Look at it this way: when a child is feeling upset, frustrated, angry or sad, they’re in a position to develop some important coping skills. The first thing they learn is to avoid similar situations."
• "Discomfort is such a part of our life, whether you’re squeezed into a subway car, waiting in line at the supermarket, or passed over for a promotion. It’s so important for your child to be able to learn how to manage those situations and to develop a tolerance for them. And make no mistake, if he doesn’t learn to tolerate discomfort, he’s going to be a very frustrated adolescent and adult."
• "When you shield your child from discomfort, what he learns is that he should never have to feel anything unpleasant in life. He develops a false sense of entitlement. He learns that he doesn’t really have to be prepared in school, because his parents will complain to the teacher, who will stop calling on him or expecting his homework to be in on time. He learns that his parents will raise the tolerance for deviance. If his parents are successful, the teacher will tolerate less compliance from him because of his parents’ intervention. He learns to confront a problem with power rather than dealing with it through responsibility and acceptance."

It takes a village to raise happy, healthy adults from childhood. The road is bumpy for a reason. We need to build callouses to not let every small discomfort rock our world.

Do you need help with your parenting skills? Come on in to room 201 and we can talk about options.

Have you had your flu shot?

Please get a flu shot if you haven't yet. Flu shots are available from your doctor and from the following locations:


VIP TrailerOngoing Clinic
3177 Ocean View Blvd.
San Diego, CA 92113
Flu vaccine is available on a walk-in basis, Monday through Friday, from 8-11am and 1-3pm. Closed weekends and holidays. No appointment is needed, but if desired, appointments can be made online at: https://onlineappts.hhsa-sdcounty.org/.

Please note that currently, due to shipping delays, the Center has a limited selection of flu vaccines. Please call 619-229-5400 before going to verify availability.



South Region Public Health CenterOngoing Clinic
690 Oxford St., Suite H
Chula Vista, CA. 91911
Flu vaccine is available on a walk-in (first come, first served) basis Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, from 8 a.m-4 p.m., and Thursday from 8 a.m.-Noon, or until clinic capacity is reached. Closed weekends and holidays. No appointment is needed, but if desired, appointments can be made online at: https://onlineappts.hhsa-sdcounty.org.

Please note that currently, due to shipping delays, the Center has a limited selection of flu vaccines. Please call the Center at (619) 409-3110 before going to verify availability.